What's it Gonna Be?

Since I've had a busy week getting stuck, stabbed and scanned.  I thought I would take this brief weekend respite to consider how I'm doing and what's next.

If you're one of my regulars you probably know that the MRI scan of my head came out clear of any cancer.  I don't have a brain tumor.

The cerebral spinal fluid taken during the lumbar puncture on Wednesday was clear as well.

I will find out the result of the Friday's CT scan on Monday when I see my oncologist.

I'm starting to feel that I've had a bit too much of this.  What's the point of telling my oncologist anything if he'll just have me tested and poked;  and then find out I'm OK?

He's doing this to ensure that I don't have a brain tumor or something going on in my spine because one (perhaps more) tumors were along the spinal column to the point of displacing some of it.

I saw this on the CT of my neck taken in November 2009 - little chunks of my C2 vertebra gone missing.  They almost looked like bites taken out of it.   That scan was taken about a month and a half before my first R-CHOP chemotherapy session so there is no easy way to tell if the tumor made it all the way to the spinal canal.

So he ruled out brain tumor as a possibility.   Which leaves revlimid responsible for my headaches.

I had a nap this afternoon and I feel better now but the revlimid is getting more difficult to tolerate.

After I went grocery shopping today my neck and shoulders hurt although my headache seemed to be gone.   I believe that I experienced depression this last week after going off the drug.  It is an uncomfortable feeling.   

Were my nightmares last night from the revlimid or from being off the revlimid?

I'm getting used to the usual side effects such as rash, diarrhea and constipation and the various discomforts that go along with them.

I'm tired a lot and I just ignore it and do what I have to do.  I work while I'm sleepy or fatigued.

But the muscle pain in my neck was  so reminiscent of what I went through with the tumor that I find it very uncomfortable.

The last few days of the part of the cycle where I am on the drug I feel lightheaded and mentally confused.   I also felt as though I had caught a cold - at least my chest felt that way.   I felt sick.
 
When I go off the drug every three weeks for a one week break I have uncomfortable sensations in my body that I take to be withdrawal symptoms.  My metabolism seems slow; my skin is dry and there are patches on my fingers where the top layer of skin has fallen off.

The plus side of revlimid is it may be preventing recurrence of my many tumors.  The downside is considerable discomfort.


When does the one outweigh the other?