Next Wednesday is my final infusion; so I thought that now would be a good time for a brief look back on how I got here.
I think of the speculation, both mine and my doctor's as what delayed me from something that could really help me.
Sometime in mid-summer I began to have mild headaches. They were rather vague and used to start in the morning about the time I went to work. Naturally, I thought nothing of it. It took an upcoming vacation to get me to email my doctor and get some advice about what to do.
If you know me you might know that about 25 years ago, before I left Wisconsin I had headaches that seemed to be caused by some "inadequate" disks in my neck. Not enough to pinch the nerves real bad, but enough so I notice.
In the new x-ray that my current doctor ordered these were at C4-5 and C6-7 for those of you anatomically disposed. I would guess that the narrowing is the same as in the old x-ray.
A little evidence can be a terribly misleading thing, and thus began the long venture in the land of "I wonder if it could be X, Y, or Z". The x-ray was in early August.
Of course the headache and neck strain could be caused by those little very little disks. But might posture also be implicated?
When my doctor was probing the stiff muscles of my neck they relaxed and kind of felt better and he suggested massage. Which I agreed to and looked forward to with a sense of anticipated relief.
At this point in my career as a patient I had graduated from simple OTC (Over the Counter) pain medications to pain medications (I think I was taking 4 Aleve per day) and a mild muscle relaxant called Skelaxin.
I was about to put my toe into the water of sado-masochistic therapy. I wonder if it should be called body work although the proper term is Kinesis Myofascial Integration and it has as it's theoretical underpinning ideas about how we get stuck in unnatural positions as we get older. Literally stuck and the therapy unsticks us. Forcefully.
I have in the past referred to it as the son of Rolfing, for those of you who are old enough to remember the 1970's. And the various therapies that evolved then.
The process starts with the feet and is quite painful. It doesn't work on the muscle it works on the connective tissues and it works hard.
Normally in a massage you get undressed in a room, perhaps down to your undershorts and cover your self with a sheet and wait on a table. With modesty and discretion always in mind.
Ever have a picture taken of you in your underwear? Just your undershorts? After arriving for a massage and expecting a sheet and some discretion?
Would you feel embarrassed enough to glow a rosy shade of red?
Well that was the start and then came the painful massage.
I hurt from one end of me to the other and at the end my neck was twisted from side to the other side and remember that at that time I had no idea that I was carrying a soft little package of love right in there. Where it was being twisted.
That pain was excruciating.
2 comments:
Those x-rays you had 25 years ago caused your cancer. I guarantee (I do epidemiological research for a living). Welcome to the revolving door of modern medicine. You've been initiated into the inner sanctum of medical magick. Just make sure your oncologist has the Staff of Asclepius on his letterhead and not the caduceus (that's an arcane symbol with a hidden meaning they don't tell neophytes like you about). But before you start hating doctors realize it was nothing personal, doctors have to make money somehow...and he treated you right?
Anonymous,
Would you believe I used to work in an epi organization? I was one of the local programmer/system administrators in what used to be called the Northern California Cancer Center. Mid 80's - mid 90's.
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