Yes, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to recover from the pain so I can tell how bad it really is. I feel as though I have been dulled to its full effect.
I've been having memory lapses where I almost smell the saline they use to infuse me with anti-cancer drugs. Pleasant, no?
You can probably guess that the pain I'm feeling has somehow reminded me of the hospital environment. I can't escape it.
I shall forever be plugged into a drip, drip, drip. Thank goodness I still have my port.
As you can probably guess the headaches have gotten bad enough that I actually have to deal with them. The degree of sloth I have is considerable, and my inertia something incredible to overcome. Finally, today I overcame it and sent an email to my oncologist, copying his nurse navigator and my family doctor.
My head hurts. I forgot to take an Advil. Or maybe I didn't and it just feels bad. I think I took the Advil. I'll take another.
I found an alternative which will (I think) stop the pain. It is rather serious pain medicine but I don't want to feel anymore pain tonight.
The back of my neck doesn't feel right; it feels like something is swelling up inside of it.
With the way that I feel I am wondering if a little tumor had been born in a comfortable place where it can cause me pain.
The R-CHOP was very effective, how could the cancer come back?
Either my neck is plain messed up or I have an old familiar friend come to plague me.
We shall see next week.
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